The Brighter Side To Deception

A partner's betrayal can be a heart breaking and life changing experience. Being betrayed by anyone that you have allowed to consume personal space in your life can leave you feeling devalued and disrespected. Furthermore, when your partner puts his or her needs ahead of what's best for you or your relationship, it creates a lot of confusion, uncertainty and disappointment. ("How and why did this happen to me?"..."Where did I go wrong wrong?").

While being betrayed has its elements of devastation, like all tragic events, it is also an opportunity for reflection and reevaluation. A partner's betrayal can force you to examine the core principles on which your relationship was founded. Specifically, a betrayal can cause you to think about:

• Whether you share the same goals and motivations. Do you and your partner's goals align? Do you share the same values and want the same things out of life?

• How responsive is your partner to your needs and concerns. Does your partner take into consideration your perspective? Try to make you feel understood and shows concern for your feelings? A partners responsiveness to your distress is very telling. A betrayal can reveal just how responsive is your partner. A partner who dismisses your needs or who acts more defensive than concerned isn't ideal.

• A partner’s betrayal can help you identify your expectations and standards. How exactly do you want and need to be treated in order to feel loved, valued, and cared for? A betrayal can help you articulate exactly what you want out of your relationship.

• A partner’s betrayal can force you to evaluate your relationship. Is your relationship worth the occasional pain and suffering? Does the good outweigh the bad?

• A partner's betrayal can bring about growth in ways you may have never experienced. Spiritually and Emotionally.

While no one wants to experience a betrayal, a partner's betrayal can be just the motivation needed to engage in a detailed evaluation of the relationship.